ST3: Baby Pie

Baby Pie

You probably expected this post to be a recap of my student teaching the past few weeks. I could tell you about the hilarious situations, the gross occurrences, the heartbreaking stories the students tell me, or even the golden teaching moments I’ve experienced. I could tell you about how I just conducted my first middle school festival performance and how proud of the students I am. There’s even this one funny anecdote about a 5th grade student who remixed the eighth note and quarter note “pumpkin pie” to include things like “apple pie, watermelon pie, popcorn pie, [and] baby pie”, whatever a baby pie may be.

Jam

But I’m going to tell you about the things you probably don’t expect to know about student teaching. The first word that comes to mind now is fatigue. Despite the past 8.5 years of my life in high school and college, always being the busiest student I could be, taking the most advanced classes, afterschool programs, working a few jobs here and there, I always jam-packed my days. But it’s not like this.

Voice vs. Bathroom

The first thing I had to get used to was losing my voice. I knew it was a hazard from day one and so I would keep my speaking minimal. Teach by example, teach with modelling, show instead of explain. But still, my attempts for 7 hours a day still tired my voice out every day. The next to adjust to was the battle between quenching my thirst and holding in my need to alleviate myself. Do I soothe my dry throat with water but need to go all day long? Somewhere around those struggles came the sore legs. I supposed I wasn’t used to standing up all day long.

Secret Is Out

Most days I go home with a dull headache and the instant need for silence and solitude. But fatigue isn’t just the ringing in my ears from hearing noise all day long. It extends to my emotions as well. I’ve never quite experienced this kind of emotional rollercoaster. From feelings of selfless love for students to frustration, confusion, hilarity, hurt, annoyance, sadness, and anger. I feel as if every emotion I have I get to experience sometimes in the course of a few days, sometimes in the course of a single class period. Before student teaching, only one or two of my friends in my life knew how to push my buttons. I guess the secret is out and my students know too. The hardest thing is bouncing back to myself after a particularly emotionally affecting class.

Kids These Days

Other ways that student teaching is changing my life include that I now use my teacher voice on other people. I also have endless stories to tell about my students. I don’t know the last time I dressed casually. I’m better at the string bass, cello, and viola than I’ve ever been in my life. My friends, family, and coworkers elsewhere know the names of my students. I introduce myself as Ms. Schlesinger now. I realized I really am an adult who has no idea all the slang words my students use and the music they listen to. Also, every time I see a middle school aged child walking around the city, I have the urge to sternly ask “what class are you supposed to be in right now!?”

Fine

I am finally starting to use my voice normally and excitably. My legs are used to it now as is my bladder. I’ve started looking at this experience with hopefully a zen-like attitude: focusing on the present, enjoying what I can, letting the anxieties and doubts just be acknowledged, briefly experienced, and flowing through me and past me. I’m fine.